Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
A Girl’s Guide to Geek Guys (via @Decloned_Taz)
So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you’re wondering where to go from here. All the scenester dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot grrrls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.
Why Geek Dudes Rule
They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
They’re smart.
Where The Geek Dude Lurks
While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you’ll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.
Imprinting
You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they’ve had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic….The Trek factor
If you’re not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I’m not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You’ve got to be up on your The Next Generation , your Deep Space Nine, your Voyager. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. For extra help in learning how to relate in their own language, check out the Klingon Language Institute.
Once You’ve Nabbed Him
Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man:Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.
Geek Cuisine
Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren’t all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.Geek Lifestyle
The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize.To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager’s Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he’s stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.
Geek Buddies
Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as “that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights”). The greatest thing about your geek’s buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don’t overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are. Post-It NoteI thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons:
Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
Victoria actually knew who he meant.
Folks, I think this marriage will last.
One Last Thing
Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven’t noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don’t ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn’t quite grasped yet.Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don’t you consider yourself one? Wouldn’t you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.
Happy Hunting!
via mikkipedia.net
it's scary how true this is!
Compared to you, most people seem dumb
In the Internet industry most people know the difference between Firefox and Explorer. We also know what FTW stands for and what the difference is between ASP, PHP and RoR. Or at least we know that there is a difference.
If you meet an entrepreneur who has never heard of Digg, Google Apps or The Freemium Model you would be surprised. Right?
But that is just us; a small subset of digerati who have time to stay up-to-date on almost everything relating to our industry. The rest of the world? Ignorant to most of it, and that is just fine. The problem arrises when you are trying to think about what you customers could want. Chances are they don’t have a clue what you are talking about. A few examples:
1: my father recently told to me he didn’t know how to text someone back. He doesn’t have an old phone that doesn’t make sense but the iPhone. How hard could it be? Well, he opened up the “Messages” App and showed it to me. He gestured at the interface, slightly irritated, and said “Where is the damn reply button??”. I was stupefied. The iPhone interface is the most elegant and easy to understand interface out there. Still, it didn’t contain that one recognizable element that my father needed to make sense of it all: no reply button meant he didn’t know how to reply.
2: a few years ago I managed an online birthday calendar. The interface was really simple. It showed the calendar in month view with a big red button on top of it that said “Add a Birthday“. It was so big I figured people wouldn’t be able to miss it. Unfortunately they did. I got about 100 helpdesk messages a day and about 60 of those started with “I don’t know how to add a birthday“. At first I got really annoyed at those ignorant people who thought it was more convenient to just email someone than to think and look around for more than 2 seconds. But then I did some tests and found out that everybody assumed that they just had to click the calendar to add a birthday. If that didn’t work they assumed it was broken. My fault, not theirs.
3: at a reception recently a woman came up to me and told me her daughter is named ‘Loïs’ too. She said “I was hoping I would bump into you because I noticed you know how to put the umlaut on the ‘i’, Can you please tell me how to do that on the iPhone?”. I explained it to her and the next day in the office during lunch I told the story to my co-workers. I laughed and said “apparently some people still don’t know how to get to the special characters on the iPhone!”. Nobody laughed. Then someone said “Well, neither do I. How DO you do that?” and then someone else admitted not knowing and then it turned out nobody knew.
4: Patrick got a call from his father a while ago who wanted to find something on the web. Patrick told him the URL and his father didn’t seem to understand what he was talking about. So Patrick said “You know, the address of the website”. His father still didn’t seem to get it so Patrick said “the line of characters you enter in the location bar in your browser” after which his father replied “I don’t know about all that. I simply click the blue icon for Internet and then Google shows up and I type what I want in Google and then I get it”. Apparently you can book tickets, check email and do all sorts of stuff online without knowing that each website has a distinct address called a URL.
The point of all these stories? If you know how to get to the special characters like ü, é and © on your iPhone and or PC, if you know what a URL is and if you know how to use most of the Apps on your iPhone you and part of a small group of experts. Don’t assume you are the default because you are the exception. Make your apps, websites and tools as simple as possible and always test with other people.
People are not really stupid, it is just that you know a lot more. Don’t let knowledge blind you.
via thenextweb.com
The last line says it all - "People are not really stupid, it is just that you know a lot more. Don't let knowledge blind you"
Thursday, October 21, 2010
hello
test
--
Shakir Hussain
http://shakir.me | +974 55856274 | +974 77112358
Twitter: @fibonaccifreak, Facebook: http://fb.me/fibonaccifreak
Shakir Hussain
http://shakir.me | +974 55856274 | +974 77112358
Twitter: @fibonaccifreak, Facebook: http://fb.me/fibonaccifreak
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
P = NP [Proof]
Orwell says 2+2 = 5, and everybody agrees that Orwell is classic. But we know that 2 + 2 = 4. Also, I have proved in the past (YES< PROVED :P) that 4 = 5. Subtracting 4 from both sides, we get 0 = 1, or 1 = 0, which also implies that ONE = NONE (concentrate now, this is important).The statement ONE = NONE implies that the letter 'N' at the beginning of a word holds no value (you can see where i'm going from here right?) From the obviously true statement P = P, we add the valueless N to either of the Ps and we get*drumroll*P = NPNow where's my goddamn Ph.D.?
Monday, October 18, 2010
Talent Vs. Attitude – Harsha Bhogle at IIMA (via @lokarlotweet)
Talent Vs. Attitude – Harsha Bhogle at IIMA
A must-watch talk on why attitude matters, not talent. Presented at IIM Ahmedabad by Harsha Bhogle, a well known cricket commentator in India.
(Thanks Harish)
via gauravgupta.in
Exactly what I've always had in mind articulated awesome
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Trapped Miner Finds Himself in Another Tight Spot After Wife Meets Mistress at Vigil (via @woodster)
Yonni Barrios' wife, Marta Salinas, and Barrios' lover, Susana Valenzuela, were both holding vigils for him outside the mine.
Salinas was stunned when she heard Valenzuela shouting his name amid a crowd of miners' loved ones.
via foxnews.com
Uh Oh
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Airline with a sense of humor (via @anaggh)
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.
Check out their new livery!
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From the cockpit on KULULA.COM- South Africa's Budget Airline
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
------------------------------------------------------------------On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
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On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."-------
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
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"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
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"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
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From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
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"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
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Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
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"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
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And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
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Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
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Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"------
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
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Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
Rajnikant time...or is it Rajnican time (via @anaggh)
The Rajni saga continues!!
· When Rajnikant hits you, you fly so far off….even Google can not find you
· Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
· Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
· When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
· Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
· Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
· Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
· Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
· There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
· Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
· Rajnikant can divide by zero.
· When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
· Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
· If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results.
· Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
· It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
· The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
· There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq cause Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
· Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink
· Rajnikanth makes onions cry
· Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
· Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
· Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
· Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
· Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
· When Rajnikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
· When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth.
· Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajnikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
· The last digit of pi is Rajnikanth. He is the end of all things.
· Rajnikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
· Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.
· A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajnikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
· Rajnikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.
· If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
· Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
· Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
· When Rajnikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
· Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
· Rajnikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
· Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
· There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
· Rajnikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
· Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.
· Rajnikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
· In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
· Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.
· Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajnikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
· Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
· With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
· The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.
· When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.
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